Every single day, we deal with questions. Whether it’s answering or deciding how to ask them, questions help us navigate our world, learn something new, and create change. Yet one of the hardest decisions that hinders people from growth and success lies in the first step: making the ask.
So often, people will not ask for something because they’re afraid of the answer. Will the answer be no? Will they think it’s a dumb question? Will I look foolish? Almost every day, I’ll hear someone say, “They’ll never do that,” or “I’m afraid of what they’ll say,” letting fear be the driver and allowing assumption to rule the decision.
In my career, I’ve had amazing opportunities present themselves when I simply asked the question. Asking has opened doors, fostered meaningful relationships, and built a life that would have been very different if I hadn’t made the ask. Change came from asking for what was important to me, and from asking questions that would have led me to say no to opportunities had I not asked. Asking for things that mattered to me created forward momentum that has brought me to where I am today. Even when the questions were difficult to ask, finding the courage to do so has taught me one very powerful lesson: if you don’t ask, the answer is guaranteed to be no.
Asking for change creates opportunity and invites exploration; whether it’s asking for a promotion or inquiring about a more efficient process at work, it opens the door for discussion. While the outcome after asking may still be a no, that doesn’t mean that you’ve reached the end of the road; it’s yet another opportunity to find a middle ground in advocating for change.
For example, if you’re asking your employer for something and they decline, the conversation doesn’t have to end there. There is always another opportunity to create a plan to achieve results.
Here are a few questions to consider when met with a “no”:
- What would it take to make something like this happen?
- What skills will I need to learn to take the next step?
- What are areas in which I can improve?
The most important thing when faced with a “no” is not to shut down or give up; hold your head high and remember that you have the ability to create positive change in your life and your company.
Equally as important as having the courage to ask is having the courage to listen to and truly consider what is being asked. I challenge leaders to be open to receiving questions. Great ideas emerge from collaboration and conversation, so instead of immediately writing something off as “not possible,” invite possibility into your mindset. If you have your mind made up when somebody asks you a question, you’ll feel that impulse to automatically say no. But I encourage leaders to read between the lines, ask their own questions, and learn what inspired the person to ask the question. The idea presented may have merit with some additional discussion. Though it may not be totally right, that doesn’t mean that the idea isn’t worth exploring.
Here are a few questions for leaders to ask themselves when met with a question:
- What would need to exist to make this possible?
- If this idea isn’t feasible as is, is there a version of it that could exist?
- What might I do to support this concern in an alternative way?
Questions never guarantee outcomes, but they’re essential to progress, both for you personally and for your organization. They create opportunity, and whether you’re a leader or looking to grow into one, being open to change welcomes success and innovation.
Ask the question! Be open to transformation! Enjoy the positive results!
